In my profession, I talk to hundreds of people each week and they are always telling me that they want to do something and be a part of something that will allow them to “make an impact”. The majority of people truly want to make a difference and they want to live a life of significance. The problem is they aren’t sure of the how or the what. The larger problem is that they let their current situation dictate what their future will be. They feel they have to be in a certain position or at a certain financial level before they can accomplish what they want. This, my friends, is an attitude problem and it directly impacts the action we are willing to take in order to achieve our desired goal.
Most things in this world we have zero control over, no matter how much we think we do, or want to have. The desire to control everything, and the inevitable realization that we don’t, is what drives us to become angry and frustrated with any given situation, and those reactions will cause us to ultimately miss the solution.
There are 2 things we have total control over: our actions and our attitudes. Once we realize this, we can begin to grow beyond the boundaries and limitations we have set on ourselves.
These are the things that we are willing to do in order to achieve our desired level of success. Choosing to do nothing is an action as well. Don’t kid yourself into thinking it’s not. You will never grow beyond where you are at right now if you’re not willing to do more. We cannot let ourselves believe the excuse of – I’d do more if I just had the _________. Keep telling yourself THAT and one day you’ll look back on your life with regret realizing you’ve always had everything you needed in order to accomplish anything you ever desired, but you never acted on it.
This is the mental state we allow ourselves to live in. Notice I said ALLOW. This is because we can choose at any time we want to have a better attitude about ANYTHING in our lives. Attitude is 100% a matter of choice. There is no outside influence that has control over our attitude. Not everything will go the way we want it to go all of the time, but we can choose how we respond to and feel about every single situation in our lives.
I hear it debated all the time that the smartest people are the most successful and sometimes it just does not matter how hard you try. HOGWASH!! Intelligence without proper attitude and action is useless. THAT is why attitude will always trump IQ. The smartest person in the room can be paralyzed by fear of failure and sometimes being exceptionally intelligent will even contribute to that fear because of the predisposition society has towards intelligence. Smart people are expected to do and be better and that pressure can sometimes keep someone from pushing boundaries and make them stay in their “safe zone”.
We must realize and accept that failure is a part of life. Every single successful person you can think of has failed more than most people have tried. That’s why they are successful! Our favorite athlete was not born successful, they had to work at it and they had to fail over and over and over. The difference between success and failure is choosing not to quit. I hear so many people say “I refuse to fail!” and I understand what they mean –what they’re trying to convey. What could happen if we chose the attitude of “I refuse to quit!” instead? We cannot succumb to the fear of failure when the tragedy of having never tried is far worse! Failing means we are trying, and trying is the only thing that leads to accomplishing.
Here’s the deal though; we are not defined by our failures, we are defined by how we react to them. Every failure in our life will give us the opportunity to either whine and cry, or rise and try. Choose the one that will take you down the path you want to walk, because at the end of the day, our lives end up being what we choose them to be.
We cannot control if something doesn’t work out exactly how we wanted it to, and we have to be OK with failing. We can just never allow ourselves to be OK with never trying or quitting.
If we will take control of our actions (the effort we put into our own success) and our attitudes (the state of mind with which we approach our success) then we will be capable of achieving everything we want in life.